I just moved the old blog somewhere and locked them up. When i was reading through them, i realised one thing. In the past, i could feel that i was happy. But, it could be that i did not realised many things when i was younger. Even the more recent posts felt weird. For this, i just need a place to type what i could not express.


I do not know what has changed me but one thing is for sure, i am not that person i feel i was before. But a part of me want to return to the past. I do not know for myself why is that, but it is just a conflicting feeling of mine. For one, i do not have the drive i do from the past. Maybe, i realised that there is many things out there that seemed more valuable than study. But obviously, it is not the case. Reality tells me that study is indeed important and it will affect the rest of my life. I had this conversation with a friend about this, though we might have the same view that all this is somewhat useless, we both still agreed that studying hard in today's world is important. Of course, there are exceptions. But, what are the chances. Studying, increases your chance of being successful but does not guarantee success. Is that why, i lost so much interest? Do i merely just aim for the exception. Or that, i was too obsessed with exceptions. I never wanted to go with what the society think, but am i just too stubborn?
Time will tell i guess..